Muse. Ramble. Rant. Repeat



In which I talk about sex and creme eggs.

Don’t get too excited kids. This isn’t nearly as raunchy as the title suggests.

I’m on birth control. This little magical pill makes my world a better place. I don’t have to worry about unplanned pregnancy, my skin stays relatively clear and I always know when my period is going to be.

I’ve been a fan of the pill since I was 16 years old and have spent only two months off it since then*. I’m pretty good at taking the pill on time. Even if I forget a pill every now and again my doctor has assured me that I probably wouldn’t get pregnant seeing as I have 9 years worth of fake hormones in me.**

But every once in a while I really screw up. This week happened to be that week. I had run out of my prescription so I had to make an appointment with the doctor. And then I had to fill the prescription and then it was Easter I forgot to pick it up. But I wanted to stay on schedule.

So last night I took three pills. I should have read the little info sheet which would have told me to take two last night and two today, but I didn’t, I just took three at once.

Know what you aren’t supposed to do? Like ever? Take three pills in on go. It  makes your hormones go out of whack.

Last night? I dreamt of babies (to some: a happy dream, to me: a nightmare) CJ woke me up twice for crying in my sleep.

This morning I stubbed my toe and burst into tears.
Then I got stuck in traffic and burst into tears.
Then I read a mean email and burst into tears.
Then I found out that Chi is coming for my wedding (she lives far away in a land of sun and sand) and I burst into tears.
I just burst into tears because someone ate my in case of emergency crème egg.

It took me until the crème egg to figure out my hormones may be a bit out of balance and perhaps I should question the rather out of character bursting into tears. I’m trying to not let it affect any more of my day but I just wrote three posts and scrapped them because they were about the ills of the world and people who have wronged me, starting with the first boy who ever broke my heart up to the person who ate my crème egg.

So this is what you get.

Sorry kids. I’ll do better next time.

*Those two months are recent and a topic for another day. Let’s just say that my religion is medical journals and that in my I still liked the smell of CJ after not being on birth control.

Ok, I knew you wouldn’t be satisfied with that. Here’s a link. Imagine what someone who is getting married very soon would do if they read this.

**I am not a doctor. I am not giving you medical advice. So don’t come to me if you miss a pill and get pregnant. I don’t recommend ever missing a pill. However, if you do… I hear the pull out method is not that bad.

But of course we’re all using condoms right? … yah, of course we are…  none of us in monogamous relationships are having blatant unprotected sex. Nope. Not here. Look! A penny! Its shiny! Go look at that!

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Comments

  1. I am sorry to laugh, but when I’m hormonal, someone eating my emergency creme egg would make me either cry or be a heinous bitch.

    Also, the condom bit at the end killed me. A friend and I were discussing sex recently and she said that her and her boyfriend of NINE YEARS are STILL USING CONDOMS. I don’t remember the last time I used one with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. I mean, what? WHAT?

    | Reply Posted 7 years ago
    • * mmacc says:

      I agree. Whenever I hear about long term couples using condoms I either think
      a) Open relationship
      b) She wants to get pregnant and he doesn’t trust her

      Since all the couples I’ve ever known who still use condoms fall into one of those two categories.

      | Reply Posted 7 years ago


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