Muse. Ramble. Rant. Repeat

Cupcakes at 6am

Today is CJ’s birthday.

Technically his birthday. I’ve deemed his birth date void and insisted we start celebrating on May 1st because I’m in a profession that will always see me working 14 hour days on April 29th. He’s ok with this idea because it means I’m not stressed out during his celebrations.


Today he turns 26 years old.

Six years ago this summer, when I met CJ, he was living with his parents, had just quit his job and was making allowance; $10 a week to be exact. He had to save up for two weeks so we could go to the movies for our first date. He had no immediate plans to go to school, no plans to get another job and a vague idea that at some point he was going to move out of his parent’s house.  

To tell it now, it’s hard to explain why I was so smitten with him. We were young. So young that nothing I just typed above mattered. We were too young to worry about the future or careers or prospects. We just knew we liked each other and ran with that.

Six years later it still works.

To view it from the outside it’s hard to understand how this quiet, unassuming shy guy and this loud mouth attention seeker get along. But I’ve been told that spending a few hours with us is all it takes to see how madly in love we are.

This morning we had cupcakes for breakfast because I’m not going to see him until bedtime tonight. As we laughed about eating cake at 6:30am, I realized why it was so easy, how it was that we could make it work – I like him. After all this time we still like spending time together. We work great together and bring out the best in each other.

I don’t need him in my life. He doesn’t need me. But we want to be with each other. That is what it boils down to – we are here because we want to be here. We are in love because not being together seems like a ridiculous notion.

We get married in eight weeks. I have no doubts. No cold feet. I’m just excited to start another chapter with him.

Happy Birthday CJ. Here’s to another fifty together. xoxo


How to Tell Your Boyfriend has been Drinking Too Much.

I’m home alone tonight, catching up on some quality time with Tyra Banks.

(Don’t hate, you love ANTM too)

CJ is out and I just received a text message.

CJ: Tina Fey on SNL tonight! Download it!

Me: Will do tomorrow.

CJ: Not tomorrow! I want to watch it when I get home!

Me: Can’t download it until tomorrow silly :)

CJ: Don’t be lazy woman*! Download it for me!

Me: Yah, saturday night LIVE, I’ll get right on that.

CJ: Good. We’ll watch it together when I get home.


I could correct him now, or I could make fun of him tomorrow morning.

Guess what I’m going to do?


Edited to explain: While Canadians view network shows at the same time as our American cousins, most cable shows can usually be downloaded before their air date in Canada; we straight up can’t get some channels like AMC and FX. Seriously, I don’t understand since most of the shows we watch are shot in Vancouver. WHY CAN’T WE CANADIANS SEE THEM AT THE SAME TIME AS AMERICANS? WHY? WHY? Also, we are banned from using Hulu. It’s like America is so jealous of Canada it holds the only thing they do better than us over our head.

…. but that’s just a theory from a very proud Canadian.

*Woman is his pet name for me. I realize the potential negative connotations but I’m flattered because he got it from my late grandfather who used to affectionately call my grandmother ‘woman’.

In which I talk about sex and creme eggs.

Don’t get too excited kids. This isn’t nearly as raunchy as the title suggests.

I’m on birth control. This little magical pill makes my world a better place. I don’t have to worry about unplanned pregnancy, my skin stays relatively clear and I always know when my period is going to be.

I’ve been a fan of the pill since I was 16 years old and have spent only two months off it since then*. I’m pretty good at taking the pill on time. Even if I forget a pill every now and again my doctor has assured me that I probably wouldn’t get pregnant seeing as I have 9 years worth of fake hormones in me.**

But every once in a while I really screw up. This week happened to be that week. I had run out of my prescription so I had to make an appointment with the doctor. And then I had to fill the prescription and then it was Easter I forgot to pick it up. But I wanted to stay on schedule.

So last night I took three pills. I should have read the little info sheet which would have told me to take two last night and two today, but I didn’t, I just took three at once.

Know what you aren’t supposed to do? Like ever? Take three pills in on go. It  makes your hormones go out of whack.

Last night? I dreamt of babies (to some: a happy dream, to me: a nightmare) CJ woke me up twice for crying in my sleep.

This morning I stubbed my toe and burst into tears.
Then I got stuck in traffic and burst into tears.
Then I read a mean email and burst into tears.
Then I found out that Chi is coming for my wedding (she lives far away in a land of sun and sand) and I burst into tears.
I just burst into tears because someone ate my in case of emergency crème egg.

It took me until the crème egg to figure out my hormones may be a bit out of balance and perhaps I should question the rather out of character bursting into tears. I’m trying to not let it affect any more of my day but I just wrote three posts and scrapped them because they were about the ills of the world and people who have wronged me, starting with the first boy who ever broke my heart up to the person who ate my crème egg.

So this is what you get.

Sorry kids. I’ll do better next time.

*Those two months are recent and a topic for another day. Let’s just say that my religion is medical journals and that in my I still liked the smell of CJ after not being on birth control.

Ok, I knew you wouldn’t be satisfied with that. Here’s a link. Imagine what someone who is getting married very soon would do if they read this.

**I am not a doctor. I am not giving you medical advice. So don’t come to me if you miss a pill and get pregnant. I don’t recommend ever missing a pill. However, if you do… I hear the pull out method is not that bad.

But of course we’re all using condoms right? … yah, of course we are…  none of us in monogamous relationships are having blatant unprotected sex. Nope. Not here. Look! A penny! Its shiny! Go look at that!