Muse. Ramble. Rant. Repeat

The Facebook Snub Incident

A little while ago, I went nuts and deleted the majority of people I know off facebook.

If anyone asks, it’s because I wanted to limit what people could see about me.

In reality, it came after I spent an hour or so, maybe two, ok, probably closer to three hours attempting to figure out why a mutual acquaintance had dumped her boyfriend. The boyfriend that she had been bragging about for months via status updates, that she had just moved in with, the love of her life.

It was perhaps the lowest point of facebook creeping and I decided then to give it up. So I deleted anyone who I wouldn’t stop and have a conversation with on the street OR who I’ve haven’t had dinner with in the past two years. For the most part, no one noticed… very few people tried to add me back and I feel the quality of my life has gotten less creepy.

(I’m not saying everyone should do it, just it was the right choice for me. In fact, if you’re my friend you should keep everyone on facebook so I always have a way to creep when we’re drunk)

Yah, so I thought no one had noticed the mass delete. Until yesterday at the grocery store.

There in line ahead of me was the acquaintance mentioned above. Now, we’ve never been close. In high school (which was 7 years ago) we hung out some in classes but even then we were friends through other friends. I’ve always liked her, we were just never close.  In fact, we were only hugging drunks close – yah, know, that girl you see in the bar and you hug like they’re your best friend and then promptly go on your way, not even bothering to share a dance or drink with.

So I smile and say hello!

And… nothing…

Then I reassess the person in front of me to make sure I’m not mistaken – no, this is the girl. This is definitely the girl. So I say her name and say Hi!

She turns away from me with an “hmph”

I was completely confused. Trying to figure out if I had done anything to her… mentally running through the boys she had dated and trying to remember if I had ever hooked up with anyone of them, if I had spread any gossip about her… and I couldn’t come up with a single thing until I realized I had deleted her off facebook.

Really? Really? You’ve got to be kidding me. It wasn’t a personal attack on her! It was a general cleaning out of anyone I wasn’t actually friends with. I went from 300+ friends to 80. Most of our mutual friends were deleted!

So we continued standing in line, in an awkward silence. I go to open my mouth a few times… thinking I should explain… but then I close it. What can I say to explain deleting her from facebook without it turning into a rant of “You have to the craziest person I know to be so insulted by me deleting you off a social networking site that we never communicated on and besides it’s not like we were ever even friends” ?

So I say nothing at all.


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  1. * theweightofitall says:

    Unfortunately, FB is the new social slight. Last year when The Ex and I broke up, I deleted all of HIS friends that had once been MY friends because one of them was using everything I was updating about against me with The Ex. So, I took my space and kept my life down in SF to myself.

    …worst idea ever. It started this massive war between a few of us. I couldn’t understand it; it’s just an internet site? You’re really going to throw away 3 years of friendship, me being in your wedding, and all of the other amazing memories we have because YOU were STALKING ME on FACEBOOK and TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT IT and I’m the one who is at fault?

    Crazy, crazy, people.

    I still love Facebook, though. It’s a weird relationship.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 8 months ago
    • * mmacc says:

      I can’t get enough of facebook. It’s a trainwreck and whenever I get the chance I still use my friend’s to stalk ex-boyfriends.

      I thought deleting of mutual friends during a breakup was a rule, not an option.

      | Reply Posted 8 years, 8 months ago
  2. * Lindsay says:

    I’ve always used the “if I wouldn’t stop to have a conversation with you on the street then you don’t get approved” method. Though, it’s hard to reject friendships over and over again. Sometimes, I just let them in. I’m thinking a purge would be good.

    Course, it’s not like Facebook notifies you when someone defriends you… so SHE would have had to have been stalking YOU to even notice. Weird.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 8 months ago
    • * mmacc says:

      Good point. She would have had to be stalking me… I just really don’t understand people who get offended when they can’t see hundreds of drunken pictures of me… although most of those pictures contain you too… so they are pretty and awesome.

      | Reply Posted 8 years, 8 months ago
      • * theweightofitall says:

        Haha. Right? When did our drunken pictures make people feel better about themselves? So weird. Though, I just noticed that my friend count went from 556 to 555 and I definitely spent 15 minutes trying to figure out who “defriended” me. Weird?

        Posted 8 years, 8 months ago

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