Muse. Ramble. Rant. Repeat

Irrational Conversation with a Rational 5 year old.

I’m planning to my bachelorette party for Las Vegas. I’m not sure who’s going to be able to go with me (it’s quite expensive to fly across the country) but I do know that my sister is coming with me. She, unbelievably excited at the thought of a long weekend away from her three children under the age of 5 (5yo, 3yo, 4mo), is already planning the details of the May trip. I was over at her house for lunch yesterday and we were talking about the trip when we were interrupted by her 5 year old daughter.

5yo: Mama, what do you mean Vegas? Where’s that?

Sis: Las Vegas. It’s in the United States and to get there we have to fly to the other side of the country and to the south. It’s far away from here. (more talking between us about various hotels)

5yo: So, how long are you going for?

 Sis: A long weekend.

5yo: How many sleeps?

 Sis: (holds up three fingers)

5yo: (getting excited) Cool! When are we going?

Sis: No sweetie, just mommy and Martina are going, you girls are going to stay at home.

5yo: (clearly disappointed) And who exactly is going to take care of us?

Sis: Who do you think?

5yo: Dad?

Sis: Yes, dad.

3yo: I like playing with Daddy!

5yo: Not daaaaad. You can’t leave me! Why do you need to go?*

*I should take a moment to explain my brother-in-law is perhaps the world’s greatest father and all three of his girls think he is the sun and the moon. They normally choose to play with him over any activity including ice cream.

Sis: (brief explanation of what a bachelorette party is) and Mommy really wants to go have fun with Martina because she is my sister. And you know how much fun you have with your sisters?

5yo: (head shake yes)

Sis: Then you can understand why I want to go have fun.

5yo: If it’s so much fun you should take us.

3yo: Ya! You should take us!

Sis: No, Mommy needs a vacation and besides you have to be at least 21 years old to go.

5yo: (Finger pointing at me) You aren’t 21! That’s really old! You can’t go so Mom can’t go!

Me: No, silly I’m 24 I can go.

5yo: Well mom, you just can’t go.

Sis: Why not?

5yo: Because who’s going to take care of us?

Sis: Dad.

5yo: He can’t do it. He doesn’t know how to.

Sis: Remember how Mommy and Martina went away last year and Dad took care of you? It’s the same this time except we’re not going away for as long.

5yo: But there is thrrreeeee of ussss now. Dad doesn’t know how to take care of the baby!

4mo: (coos because she somehow knows she was just mentioned in the conversation)

Sis: He does know how to take care of a baby – do you think I’m the only one who can take care of you around here?

Now, my sister is a stay at home mom and the primary care giver but again, my brother-in-law is very capable of taking care of the girls.

5yo: And besides you don’t need to go away to have fun. You have plenty of fun here.

Sis: When was the last time I had fun?

5yo: When we went to Alex’s birthday party last week, that was super fun.

Sis: Sweetie that was fun for you. And yes I have so much fun playing with you and your sisters but sometimes Mommy needs to do big girl stuff with other big girls.

5yo: You tell me I’m a big girl all the time!

Sis: You are; I mean adults.

5yo: Adult things are not fun to do.

Sis: Well not for you, but they are for adults.

5yo: *a skeptical look crosses her face*

3yo: Can we have a present if you go?

Sis: Yes. I’ll bring you each back something very special.

3yo: (starts blabbing about the various dolls she wants)

5yo: Martina, CJ can go with you. You don’t need to take my Mommy away.

Me: Only girls are allowed to go.

5yo: Look, Mom, I’ve thought about it and you just can’t go.

Sis: Ok, sweetie, we’ll talk about it later.

5yo: (stomping off) But I said you couldn’t go! Gaw!

3yo: (bursting into tears) But I want a present!

4mo: (bursts into tears because of all the commotion)

Sis: (to me) This is why I need a vacation.


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