Muse. Ramble. Rant. Repeat

It’s a Nice Day for a White Wedding


Why of all colours was white chosen for wedding dresses?

Ok, I actually know this answer – (thanks Google) – during the Victorian era only those who were very wealthy could afford to buy a new dress for their wedding day. If they got a dress that could never be worn again (do you know how hard it is to clean white?) they were seen as particularly well off. Clearly, laundering has changed and now anyone can afford some type of white dress.

A white dress was then warped into a symbol for purity and virginity. Ahem. Those brides who make it down the aisle still virgins are rare. So rare in fact, that most of them would be wearing black to symbolize how impure they are. However, I’ve been informed that black is a completely unacceptable colour for a wedding dress. Not that I didn’t put in the good fight for it. I tried really hard to work out someway in which it would be acceptable to those involved that a black cocktail dress would be the best option for me.

After being lectured by my mother, told by my future husband it symbolizes a funeral, and generally given that “You are crazy” look by all of my close friends I was forced decided to give in and get a white dress.

White/Ivory/Cream – all the same on a tall, pale, curvy girl. It’s just not a flattering colour. As it is, I’m the whitest white one can be. Put me in a giant white dress and I become completely washed out. Then we have the problem with the length. I’m already a giant at 5’10 – a long white dress makes me look taller. Normally, I would also get the added effect of looking leaner, but nooooo – white makes sure that every bump, curve and problem area is accentuated. Then I have the problem that almost every wedding dress is meant to enhance the chest… and well… with a chest like mine I really don’t need it to be enhanced, it does fine on its own.

Wedding dress shopping is its own separate hell which I will detail later. I will say that at one point I was in near tears surrounded by a pile of wedding dresses that made me look tall, fat and pale. It was not a fun, magical experience for me. At no point did I feel like a princess, all special and gooey inside because I got to wear a white dress. But, then again, I’m not one to have those feelings anyways so perhaps I was never going to feel like that.

My point of this post is that this notion of a white wedding dress is outdated. I didn’t really want one but found that when I explored other avenues it wasn’t accepted (In North America) to wear anything but. There were three exceptions to this rule: Elopement, second weddings and being the “groom” at a lesbian wedding but since I’m part of none of those it wasn’t ok. This of course crosses into a bigger issue about weddings and how brides are supposed to act – which will be the subject of my next post.

 Oh, by the way I’ve chosen my wedding dress and lemme tell you – I do look fantastic in it. I was able to find something that corrected all my issues – well I won’t be able to breathe the day of my wedding but really that seems to be an overrated vital function anyways.


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